I'm quite surprised that today is 4 months and instead of wallowing in our new life, I have been so excited all day (with a tinge of sadness I guess). Last week, Dave and I had quite a few discussions because I was just down. This disease can be debillitating. It never ends. It never stops. It never takes a break. It just wears me down. I can't go through my life always thinking about it. I have to be able to concentrate on my family and to have fun.
We had tossed around the idea of getting a Diabetic Alert Dog for Levi. Nighttimes are the worst. Our biggest fear is of Levi not waking up in the morning. Last week he had so many lows that it was upsetting. If a dog could help save Levi's life - then of course I have to have it. Dave was very hesitant but knew that if something happened to Levi and there was a chance we could have prevented it - our family would never recover.
A dog isn't cheap. In fact, it's as expensive as a car. $20,000 for these dogs. Initially the dollar amount completely freaked me out but I would do anything for our little guy.
We went active today with Warren Retrievers - http://www.guardianangelservicedogs.org/. Check them out. It is amazing what they are doing for families of diabetics.
Is it cheap? Nope. Could it save Levi's life? Absolutely. I couldn't be more excited. We have to wait 6-8 months but we will.
This is our family's journey dealing with Type 1 Diabetes, previously known as Juvenile Diabetes. Our three year old, Levi, was diagnosed right before Thanksgiving, 2011 at the age of 2.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
What diabetes is really like for a parent
I've copied this from the blogger "mom of an extra sweet insulin girl". I am copying it because it is just so perfect. For all of you that ask me "how are you" or "is it getting easier", this one is for you.
This life with diabetes is hard. It will always be hard. It will never be how it once was. The way that you lived your life before diagnosis will never be again. Those days of carefree easy freedom are gone. The days of having your biggest worry be whether or not your child behaved at school are but a mere memory now. You will long for those days. You will bargain to get them back. You will pray for them to return. You will cry. You will cry. You will cry. You will never have a decent full nights worry free sleep again. It just will not happen. Do NOT believe the doctors when they tell you that you do not need to check your child's blood sugar overnight. You will never kiss your child goodbye as you drop them off at school, daycare, etc the same way again. You will linger with that parting hug just a bit longer...holding them...staring in their eyes to search for any signs of impending low blood sugars once you are gone. You will never look at activity or physical exercise the same way again. You won't see it as a "good way to burn off some of their never ending energy"...but rather as falling blood sugar numbers and "how long have they been running around? Do they look pale? Where did I put that juicebox? You will never look at food the same way again. It will no longer be about quickly grabbing dinner on the way home...or skipping lunch because you are out busy running errands. It will be about pre-planning, measuring carbs, giving insulin at the proper point in time to combat high blood sugars, making sure the restaurant has nutrition guides to help you determing carb counts, and guessing...always guessing. Life will never be about the black and white obvious clear cut answer anymore.
What no one will tell you in the beginning
I'm not
gonna lie to you. I won't sugar coat it. I am going to lay it all out on the
line for you. Not in an attempt to scare you or give you nightmares...but rather
in an attempt to prepare you...to help you...to shine the light on it all for
you because I really wish that someone had been there to shine the light for me
and be honest from the get go. So, if you are not a fan of the truth or blatant
honesty...then please read no further.
This life with diabetes is hard. It will always be hard. It will never be how it once was. The way that you lived your life before diagnosis will never be again. Those days of carefree easy freedom are gone. The days of having your biggest worry be whether or not your child behaved at school are but a mere memory now. You will long for those days. You will bargain to get them back. You will pray for them to return. You will cry. You will cry. You will cry. You will never have a decent full nights worry free sleep again. It just will not happen. Do NOT believe the doctors when they tell you that you do not need to check your child's blood sugar overnight. You will never kiss your child goodbye as you drop them off at school, daycare, etc the same way again. You will linger with that parting hug just a bit longer...holding them...staring in their eyes to search for any signs of impending low blood sugars once you are gone. You will never look at activity or physical exercise the same way again. You won't see it as a "good way to burn off some of their never ending energy"...but rather as falling blood sugar numbers and "how long have they been running around? Do they look pale? Where did I put that juicebox? You will never look at food the same way again. It will no longer be about quickly grabbing dinner on the way home...or skipping lunch because you are out busy running errands. It will be about pre-planning, measuring carbs, giving insulin at the proper point in time to combat high blood sugars, making sure the restaurant has nutrition guides to help you determing carb counts, and guessing...always guessing. Life will never be about the black and white obvious clear cut answer anymore.
There is no book or manual out there
that you can reference to get a specific answer to your detailed questions.
There are only guesses...some guesses are more educated than others...but they
are all still guesses. You will learn that doctors, nurses, and all other
members of the medical field do NOT know as much as you once though they did.
You will learn that over time, you will probably know the ins and outs of
diabetes management better than they do honestly. You will learn that diabetes
doesn't play fair. It doesn't follow any rules but it's own. You will learn that
what works one day, may or may not work the next day. You will learn that
nothing is for certain. You will learn how to plan for the worst case
scenario...all the while knowing that you really have no idea how you will react
if that scenario ever actually comes to be.
You will learn that you and your
child will be judged. You will encounter ignorance. You will encounter
rudeness...discrimination. You will learn that you have to choose how you react
to that ignorance...you can either get angry and stoop to their level in
response....or you can get angry and educate them instead..advocate for your
child instead. You will feel like a broken record...repeating the same few lines
over and over again to the ignorant masses. My child did not get diabetes from
eating too much sugar. My child can not be cured just by not feeding them foods
with sugar in it anymore. My child CAN eat anything. My child CAN do anything.
No she will not grow out of it.
You will be sad. You will cry. You will cry. You
will cry. You will feel what true exhaustion feels like. You will be jealous of
parents who have children that are not type 1 diabetic. You will feel like you
can't relate to those parents or friends anymore. You will find out who your
true friends are. You will find out who will be there for you in your time of
need. You will find out who actually cares and who could really care less. You
will feel like you
just...can't....do...this...anymore.........................
but you can.
You will learn that no matter what life throws at you, you and your child CAN DO THIS. You will find out that you are a lot stronger than you ever thought you were. You will see that your child is stronger and more brave than most adults. You will see that while yes this life is hard.....it does get easier. You will find comfort and solace in the familiar...the routine. You will gain confidence as the days go by. That is where you will find things a tad bit easier....in the confidence you gain. You will find comfort in others. You will feel a connection...a bond with other parents going through this same thing. You will gain a new family in them. You will find yourself wanting to help them...going out of your way to help them...to help their child when they are struggling. You will find yourself crying with them, laughing with them, proud of them. You will feel a connection with your own child that would otherwise never had been possible. You will get to know how their body reacts to things...foods, activity, emotions, stress. You will learn their patterns. Seek out the patterns for they are your key to finding some sanity.
but you can.
You will learn that no matter what life throws at you, you and your child CAN DO THIS. You will find out that you are a lot stronger than you ever thought you were. You will see that your child is stronger and more brave than most adults. You will see that while yes this life is hard.....it does get easier. You will find comfort and solace in the familiar...the routine. You will gain confidence as the days go by. That is where you will find things a tad bit easier....in the confidence you gain. You will find comfort in others. You will feel a connection...a bond with other parents going through this same thing. You will gain a new family in them. You will find yourself wanting to help them...going out of your way to help them...to help their child when they are struggling. You will find yourself crying with them, laughing with them, proud of them. You will feel a connection with your own child that would otherwise never had been possible. You will get to know how their body reacts to things...foods, activity, emotions, stress. You will learn their patterns. Seek out the patterns for they are your key to finding some sanity.
You will realize
that you CAN do this. Sure there will still be days that pass where you feel
like diabetes has knocked you to the ground...flat on your face..beating you,
but those days will pass...the sun will come out tomorrow and shine on a new
day. You can do this. You will cry, you will smile, you will feel pride, joy,
anger, sorrow, jealousy, grief, exhaustion, fear, stress, pain.......you will
feel all these things and more...to such an extreme level as well. Please do not
ever forget, you can do this....you ARE doing this....you are strong...and you
are doing this.
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